Saturday 1^st May and this is a gig we are approaching with some trepidation.  We found out today that it is going to be a much younger audience than we are used to working for.  It is in fact a 40^th Birthday Bash.  This suggests to us that the guests will be expecting a cross between Michael Macintyre and Eddie Izzard who can also do party type hits.
Crown and Sandys in OMBERSLEY is the venue and Ombersley itself proves to be a very pretty village with fairly upmarket residents. Sheila the events organiser is a lovely lady and looks after us very well.  We were due to work with Tommy Mundon who has had to cancel and is replaced by Lee Wilson. We are also working with a mind reader who is American, lives in Halesowen and does his act as a Russian. All quite bizarre.  We are also working with the resident disco and a 3 course meal.  The guests are in fancy dress and all the tables sport, tiaras, rabbit ears, farty balloons etc. etc. A terrifying prospect!  Nicky who is the Birthday girl is absolutely wonderful, as is her husband, Chris and their son. Nicky is dressed as Patsy from Ab Fab and the gig turns out far better than expected.  All our best wishes to Nicky and Chris ….it is rare to meet such a smashing couple.  Their friends are lucky to have them in their life.

Tuesday 4^th and this is a very exciting gig for us.  We are working for the lovely Anna at the Robin in BILSTON Anna Mitchell Martin has organised this event to raise awareness and to raise funds for M.S.  This is Anna’s first project and an ambitious one but she seems to have the knack and does a first rate job.  We were proud to be part of it.
We were sharing the stage with friends Giggettty and David Bartley.We go to watch lots of bands at the Robin so Allan was beside himself with excitement.
The night was magical and everything we had all hoped for.  Anna had a big group of friends and family helping her ….and the event raised  £900.36The audience were a big mix of people and were wonderful to all of us.Big thanks from us to Graham Leddington who is a friend and supporter of all we do.  Great to meet the ladies he brought with him from Wednesbury…Margaret and Jenny.  Also a big thanks to Alan and Paula for coming along.
Allan was especially thrilled when he was asked to pose for a photograph with two very young and pretty girls.  They sent him the photograph and an email….so if you haven’t had a copy of it I’m sure you will!!            

Tonight we are off to DARLASTON. This is a gig for Rotary and we have been contacted by an old College friend of mine….Mag..Alan Davies. It is a bequest from a Rotary Member who left the Senior Citizens of Darlaston enough money to have a night out with an evening’s entertainment and refreshments. They have been ferried to Garrington’s old Social Club down Darlaston Green.
We are working with Damian who is a singer, Keyboard and accordion Player.  We have worked with him before and he is a really nice guy. At the end f the evening I was very pleased to find a second cousin of mine in the audience.  I had never met her before.  I had a lovely chat with Josie and her friends when we had finished.

Thursday 6^th and we are at the Holiday Inn in KENILWORTH for the 41 Club. This is something we never do.  It is a gentlemen only audience.  The gentlemen arrive looking very smart in their evening suits with their medals.  One or two of them we have already met at other events.  They were very well behaved and had charming manners but it is quite hard  to find suitable material. Nobody shouted “Get ‘em off!” or as would be more appropriate at my great age…”Keep em on!”  Nice to meet you all.  Big Hello to my special new friend…John from Coventry.  He kept Allan on his toes!

Saturday 8^th and  it is a terrible night tonight and I hope it does not deter the audience.  We are over at Mere Green SUTTON COLDFIELD for Hill Club.  This is a Gardening and Allotments Social Club that we visited once many years ago.After a bit of a hectic week it was lovely to work somewhere like this.  Great crowd.  Quite a few people we knew from different venues and at different times in our career.  We really appreciate it when people make a special effort to come and see us.  Many thanks to all of you.  

HOME NEWS            

Looking back it has been  a very busy month.  First week we were busy with bookings and the rest of the month with friends.  Had a lovely meal out at Sorrento’s in Lichfield with our friends, Barb and Rog.  Nice and relaxing until Al flung his arms out and knocked over the red wine.  Luckily it was his wine and it was him it landed on.  Spent most of the next morning trying to get red wine out of his favourite white t. shirt.

Had a lovely Sunday night at the Sills with Anne and Jack and Janet, Rick and Keith Donnelly

Tuesday we went off to Criccieth and met up with Pam and Graham for a couple of meals.  It’s great having friends in the van opposite.  We have some good laughs. We had another couple of days there with our friends Nicky and Cliff and went to Portmeirion and Barmouth.  Then just before we came back we drove up to Llandudno to celebrate Phil and Brian’s Golden Wedding.  They treated us to a lovely meal at the St.Tudno.

We came back home for Sunday because we had tickets to go and see The Ivy League at the Old Sils. We’ve seen the Ivy League several times but it was great to watch them do a full set as they are usually on the bill with the Fortunes.  I would urge anybody to go and see them.  Full recommendation.  Musically excellent and so funny.  Vivo and Tony Kelsey did an excellent acoustic set.  Big gang of us went and got front row seats.  Brilliant night.

Later that week we went to the Robin with Graham to see the Zombies.  Crowd had almost doubled from their last visit.  They have got to be one of the best live bands going.  Lovely to see Debbie and Chris there.

Bank Holiday Monday we were invited to a Barbeque by old friends Anita and Alan.  Woke up on the day with a trapped nerve in my neck/shoulder but still went and managed to enjoy the day.  Good to catch up with Les Ward, safely back from Thailand, Maggie and Andy, Sandy, Dee, Jane and Pete.  I love it that we have stayed friends with the old Boggery crowd.  It was all a long time ago but we still all keep in touch.

I am late getting this typed up because I m still suffering a lot of pain and  am taking a lot of painkillers.  So I am tripping and sleeping and very grumpy.

Al is almost as grumpy because he has been watching the football .I heard somebody say they had just been watching the new Shrek film where Shrek plays football with 10 donkeys. Oh dear! Al said the constant high pitched whining noise in the background of all the matches was spoiling his enjoyment so he banished me to the back room. I had to smile at one of the pre match programmes where a gaggle of WAGS all bling and botox went into one of the South African Brothels to try to make the young impoverished girls see the error of their ways…..selling their bodies to rich men for money!!!  Talk about pots and kettles!! 

I have been very miserable with the pain and told the consultant it was making me feel suicidal.  He said could he have the money upfront in that case !Went to see Keith my old Physio… but like most people I am are lazy little toads and do no exercise at all and expect somebody to wave a magic wand and make it go away. I find the idea of exercise very scary but I do more damage by not doing it. I really envy people who can self motivate. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. I keep threatening to get a t shirt that says Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. Sod’s Law :

Have you ever noticed that wrong numbers are never engaged. Do they think that deaf people only watch T.V. in the Night  When I’m on a plane why is it I can never get my seat to recline but the fat man in front gets his seat so far back I could do dental work on him.

The easiest way to find something you have lost is to buy a replacement.
At the end of every party there is always some girl crying and somebody having sex under your best coat. Though these days it’s more likely to be asleep under your best coat.
I’ve just bought a self help tape called “How to handle disappointment” I got it home and the box was empty. Ain’t life a bitch! Or as my friend Mr. Cartwright would say “Love and Peace!” 

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Today is Saturday 4^th June and it finally looks as if summer has arrived. Tonight we are playing at MOOR HALL GOLF CLUB and it is a lovely warm evening.
Bad start  when Allan wrenches his arm lifting the amp. I ‘m still out of action with the trapped nerve in my left arm so now we have one good arm each.  Not ideal. Allan lowers the tone of the evening by telling me it is the left arm so it will not hamper his sex life.  He can be very coarse under duress. We do couple of longish spots to an absolutely wonderful audience. 
They were great fun and made us feel really welcome.  Many thanks to Ken and all concerned.

Friday 11^th and we are off to Ellesmere Port to the Boat Museum at RUNCORN for the Russel Newbery Register Annual Meet.
It was a much shorter journey that we had anticipated so we got there late afternoon and ate our picnic on the car park. Great venue.  Lots of things to see.  Bob met us and led us around the back to get the gear in.  We knew quite a lot of the audience from previous gigs and they are a smashing crowd to work for. Al tried not to look like a girl because they all drink real ale which is very strong with names like Badger’s Bum.  He was very excitedto be near the birth place of his heroes the Beatles. Lots of big ships to see on the Manchester Ship Canal.The room emptied every time a big one went past. Many thanks to everyone and a special one to the Knot Man who made me my dragonfly brooch.  Happy memories. 

Saturday 19^TH and Marie who is getting very good at organising these things has invited us to perform at COVEN for the local school to raise funds. Great to be working with Willy Morgan again and to have all the usual crowd from Brewood sitting at the front.  They are such great fun and have really supported us well over the years.  Lovely to see my cousin Delph, husband, Tony and daughter Sue.  We have so few family left. Really enjoyed the night and actually did three new songs which is a real test of how relaxed and supportive an audience is. Thanks to Marie and family and friends for organising the night  and making it so enjoyable for all concerned.

 HOME FRONT

Allan has been charged with a special task. He is to be a sponsor for our friend Louise’s son, Jozef ,at his Confirmation.  They both looked very smart for the event and then arrived home and both got stuck into the chocolate cake and had to be wiped down.  Boys never really grow up. 

We had another brilliant holiday in Lake Garda  at the beautiful town of Riva.  We made a special trip out to see the Dolomites.  Stunning.  Al loved it and got over excited. 
We were there the same time as the world cup but there are never any scenes like the ones in England when football is on the agenda. Everyone is really cool and relaxed watching….no big screens blaring out and no yobby behaviour. Also great to see people well dressed  and the teens out there all look happy…….not bored.  Perhaps it’s the sun.

Already we are in JULY and we are setting off to a lovely part of the world…..Eardisland is one of the villages on the Black and White Heritage Trail in between Hereford and Ludlow. We are off to celebrate David’s 60^th birthday although it won’t be for some months yet. David and Susan are  a wonderful couple and make us so welcome in their home.  They are brave to have planned an outdoor event in our climate but I think they might get away with it. The garden is too beautiful  not to spend time in. It is probably one of the prettiest I have ever seen. Everyone was great and it was a magic night.  We wish them both all good wishes for the future.

Friday 16^th and we are close to home tonight at the Old Vesyan’s Rugby Club where we are working for LONGWOOD BOAT CLUB who are celebrating being in existence for 40 years. This is the oldest boat club within the Birmingham Canal Navigations. Thank you for allowing us to share in the celebrations.  Brenda and family and friends have organised a lovely evening with loads of lovely food.  Again quite a few people we had met before so it was nice to have a chat with them.  Congratulations to you  all . A  £250 profit from the evening will be donated to the Air Ambulance Service.

Saturday 17^th and it is another Boat Club Meet.   Again this is a 40^th Anniversary year for ASH TREE BOAT CLUB who keep their narrow boats on the Trent and Mersey Canal off Armitage Road, Rugeley. We are working at Lea Hall Colliery and Welfare Miners Club in the Restaurant and it is  lovely room. Lovely to see our old friend Ray from Rugeley Red Rose Theatre who is now managing this venue. Most of the Ash Tree Boat Club are old friends who we have worked for many times so we know quite a few of them very well. They are great to work for and we always feel totally part of the evening. We were working with a lovely guy called Rich Parsons www.richparsonsmusic.co.uk.  He was very talented and versatile and soon had them up and bopping away in a frenzy. I must say they’ve got more energy than I expected. Good luck to Rich and his wife who are expecting a baby in August. Great to see Mary and friends and Jessica and Dave. Sad to read at a later date that some of their boats had been broken in and possessions stolen.  Love and good wished to you all.

Nearing the end of the month and today, Friday 24^th we are at a familiar venue…ASTON WOOD GOLF CLUB. Lovely Shirley Goulding is celebrating her birthday and has invited loads of friends and family to share it with her. Shirley is a beautiful, bubbly lady and is very popular. Great to have our friends Alan and Paula there to share some of the evening with. We were on with a disco and they were quite a young and lively crowd but we just about got away with it.  Bit daunting but I think the guests enjoyed the night and I know Shirley did.

One night on and we are sharing the 40^th anniversary of June and Stewart Bissel at HOLY NAME at GREAT BARR.  This is quite a contrast to last night and I must say it is a bit of a relief.  Two nights quite that lively would have seen me off. This is more our age group and much slower paced for us.  After saying that Stewart had organised some music and most of the audience got up to dance strict tempo.  They were very graceful. We enjoyed sitting and watching them. We both have two left feet and can only jig about like pigs on stilts. Lots of lovely food and nice to sit and have a chat to Brendan and his wife in the break. All good wishes and congratulations to June and Stewart. Our 40^th is next year.  Fingers crossed.

HOME FRONT

On the Home Front further damage to the ageing body inflicted by running into the French Windows.  Amazing enough that I can still run at my great age. Brain and body hadn’t connected and Milo fat cat was chasing a bird.  All sensible thought left me as I hurtled towards the glass at top speed thinking it was open.  I imagined that I could no longer bounce….but I did….off the glass onto a wooden chair knob and table before hitting the floor with a thud.  Split lip, lumps bruises and damaged ribs. Inexplicably most people on hearing this laughed….Nice friends!

Had a lovely evening over at Elford with Jane and Dave Hill who had asked us over for a meal.  Great meal…cooked by Dave and then we all had a slow saunter round the village to take Rica , their lab. for a walk. We had never seen Elford properly before although we have played there many times.  It is a wonderful village.  The houses are very varied in design and the general atmosphere is so English.

Couple of days later we went down with a viral infection which seems to have been rampant in Lichfield. Many and strange were the symptoms and everybody seems to have had different versions though they all agreed that lack of enthusiasm, tiredness and aching were the norm.  I ended up having blood tests and an ECG.

Sadly we couldn’t get to Ivy Stone’s party which we had really looked forward to.  Ivy was married to Derek Stone who played fiddle for Giggetty a few years back.  Lovely guy who died very young.

August was a complete write off so we were lucky we had no gigs. At least I managed to do something being stuck at home.  Jane had mentioned that Elford was organising a scarecrow weekend to raise money for the church and asked if I still did my soft sculpture dolls.  Cervical spondylosis has made that difficult but I had a go and managed to get some done for the Bridal party in the church.   I did the bride, bridesmaid and bride’s dad and mum and really enjoyed doing them again. The event itself was absolutely brilliant.  There were about 80 scarecrows and some of them were really awesome.   So much humour and imagination had gone into making them and everybody had joined in and given it a go.  So glad we went over to have a look. The people of Elford are so friendly and have always been so kind to us it was a pleasure to participate We had a couple of great outings with Louise to celebrate her birthday. We took her to the Sils for a night out which she really enjoyed  and then she organised a party for her birthday in the green room at Lichfield Garrick.

Also had a great night out with Alan, Paula, Dave and Diane. 
We went for a meal to the Bell and had a really good laugh.  Al, Dave and Alan Vurlan all played football together in their young and foolish years. Sorry Chris and Kev couldn’t make it.  We missed you. 
Get well soon, Chris.




Managed a few days in Criccieth with a day in Llandudno but overall the weather has been  totally unsuitable.

At the time of writing this I have been reading about all the adulterous liaisons of high profile sportsmen.  Perhaps it’s all that testosterone.  Tiger Woods, John Terry, Ashley Cole, and now Wayne Rooney. I asked  Al what he thought they had in common and he said…Women who need to make a bit more of an effort. I gave him a good slap. The 2 “Escorts” Wayne Rooney had hooked up with publicly apologised to Coleen and said if it made her feel any better the whole thing only took 10 minutes. Allan was very jealous. Wayne has been dropped as the face of Coca Cola.  Perhaps they are going to use a genuine coke loving sportsman like Ricky Hatton. I realised how bad things have become when I went in a card shop the other day and saw “Congratulations on your First Marriage”. I was talking to a friend of ours who shall remain nameless who said “Yes, I’ve had 2 failed marriages…My first wife left me and my second wife won’t!”

Paris Hilton, after her last drugs skirmish, has been denied entry to Japan.  Shame…… Paris has never denied entry to anyone.

Major catastrophe struck this week when Facebook crashed.  Facebook users had to roam round the streets shoving photos of themselves into people’s faces saying  “Do you like this, do you, do you?”

A friend of mine had to phone 247 other friends to say “I hate work, I’m having a glass of wine….I’m sooooo tired….I’m going to bed…lol.  It  took her all night.

Some silly ones…

Edward Scissorhands probably had the most sexually frustrating puberty ever.

It was the best of times…it was the worst of times……the day I discovered I was Bipolar.   Al didn’t understand this one.

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Heading for Autumn or as the Americans romantically refer to it…Fall. Killjoys have already started removing conkers for health and safety reasons.
Claims will be going in all over Liverpool about slippery leaves on uneven pavements causing accidents. It’s life, Jim…but not as we know it.!
Meanwhile….it is Saturday 11th September and we are off to ASTLEY VILLAGE HALL and we always look forward to it. The audience are wonderful and Mike and his wife look after us so well. There are many familiar faces and it is good to see Pat and the gang again. We have a full show tonight with Debbie Hodgson who is a singer and her guitarist, Simon. We also have a fellow Blackcountryman …..Ron Popple….who is a comedy magician and Children’s Entertainer known as Crackers the Clown www.ronniecrackers.co.uk.
Debbie has a lovely voice and sings several Eva Cassidy songs. Ron has instant rapport with the audience and goes down really well. Easy night for us as the spots are shorter than normal and the audience, to use an old Black Country term……would loff if their Grannie’s nightie was afire. Great Gig. Many thanks to all.

Sunday 12th and it is a special day today for Brian and Margaret who are celebrating their Golden Wedding. They bravely booked us before seeing us. Altough they have seen us since. The OAT BARN at WHITTINGTON is spectacular and a wonderful place to spend a special day. We arrive early 11.30a.m. after a detour because of a sponsored run and are met by our friend, Julie. Julie is also responsible for the Briscoe hair. As you can imagine Allan’s hair is quite a challenge.
Today she is overseeing the food and smooth running of the event. After setting up we went over to the farm shop for lunch. I have never seen so much tempting food. The Oat Barn is just outside Lichfield opposite the Packington Porkers. After the meal there was a lovely musical interlude from the younger members of the family. We did our stuff and it went really well. Nice people.
Congratulations to Brian and Margaret.

This is a return to CHURCH LENCH. It is a beautiful village out near Hereford and the people there are fighting the proposed invasion of the wind machines which will surely blight their scenic landscape. Once again the people made us very welcome and we sat and had a wonderful selection of cheese and biscuits during the break . Well, actually I sat and watched as the Doc. has warned me about my cholesterol levels. I chewed the celery and the odd grape. The people seemed much more used to us now and we had a good laugh with them especially with the raffle. Thanks to all for a lovely evening.

Saturday 18th and this is a first visit to PERTON. Margaret saw us at the Ladies “do” at Coven and has invited us to entertain the members of the Church for a proper Black Country evening. This is confirmed by the pork scratchings, Black Country Bugles and a “lid of tea”. They were a jolly crowd and even the lady who came in and said “I hate Black Country accents” seemed to get over her aversion and was laughing. Great surprise when our friend, Graham turned up with my Birthday pressie. Graham and Pam are so supportive and having no family of our own it is brilliant to have somebody who is interested in what we do.
Allan was looked after a bevvy of lovely ladies….Margaret, Hilary, Ann, Vivienne and many more. Nice to have a chat with Christine at the end. She was a good “loffa” and a very bubbly lady. Thanks for making us so welcome. Award for bravery to Steve who came along in great pain with a trapped nerve and still managed to laugh.

Friday 24th and we are at CURDWORTH VILLAGE HALL. Liz has organised for us to come over and entertain. We had a great night with them and it lovely to see an old friend, Ray, from Boggery days and to meet his friends. The night went really well and Allan had great fun with the raffle and got very excited when he knew it was our favourite jacket spuds. Liz and the ladies of the W.I. worked really hard and raised some cash for their W.I.funds ….and managed to send a hefty donation of £300 to a new charity North Warwickshire ASD Friendship Club. This charity helps families who have children with Aspergers Syndrome or Autism. Many thanks for a great night and congratulations on your achievement.

Saturday 25th and it is great to be back at LILLESHALL VILLAGE HALL. The evening always seems to go so fast. We are always greeted with a hot drink while we get set up. Dot and Trev work very hard getting the hall decorated and the food ready. As usual they had done a marvellous spread. Our friends, Graham and Pam Leddington are ready good and early with wonderful raffle prizes. An event like this doesn’t just happen people have to work very hard behind the scenes to make it work. As a team they all play their part and work very well. The proceeds of this event go to Hope House and it is well worth the effort. It is very important work and every bit counts. The hall is packed and it is good to see Marie and the gang from Brewood sharing the table with our friends from Horsehay. We really appreciate these people coming to see us time and time again. We know lots of others scattered around the room. Great to meet up with Dodie Clarke who is also from Wednesbury. Al and I both know her sister, Kate, from way back. Get well soon, Katy. Nice to chat to Rob, Graham’s brother. We don’t see him very often. Dot always gets the kettle on again at the end of the night so we can hve a hot drink before the journey. Everyone’s hard work raised a whopping £1,408 for Hope House Children’s Hospice www.hopehouse.org.uk A big well done to all concerned.

P.S. Don’t forget Dot’s ELVIS night.

HOME FRONT

Beginning of September and we are setting off for the Algarve.
Great fun. We are on the same flight as our friends, Norma and Alan so we got to meet up in the departure lounge for a Costa coffee and share the journey. We managed to wake up on time thankfully. Last holiday which was also departing at an ungodly hour we both dozed off and nearly missed the taxi and the flight. We stayed in Cliff Richard’s old villa in Albufeira which was lovely. It was very relaxing despite the big hill we had to climb up twice a day in incredible heat.
Albufeira is very busy with lots of good restaurants. Norma and Alan were a way out of town but old friends, Tony (Giggetty) and his wife ,Sue, were very central. We had a few nights out with them and had a really good time. Good to be able to relax with them as we usually only see each other at shows .
Got back and had a few days in Wales and a lovely day out in Stratford with a boat trip down the river. Wonderful.

I see X Factor is still making a mockery of entertainment and fair play. They always have some terrible heart wrenching stories of untold misery and personal deprivation. This year it is somebody who was born in Brazil and has been forced to move to a council bungalow in Dudley. Poor Bugger.

I told Allan I wanted a Friends Boxed Set for Christmas. He said: Oh, good…that will save me having to buy one.!

Big Albion Fan died last week and in his will he had asked to be cremated and for his ashes to be scattered over a Wolves Fan.

I’m supposed to adopt a low fat diet now my cholesterol is high but it is so hard to lose weight when you are getting old. It’s like your skeleton and the fat have become firm friends….well, not so much, firm as wobbly.

My friend says children are constantly threatening to run away from home. She says it’s the only thing that keeps her going.

Couple of silly ones:

A rock from Mars landed in my garden yesterday. Proof of Alien Presents

A Native American married a Scottish lady and they named their first baby….wait for it……Hawkeye the Noo!

Toodle Pip!

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October…probably my favourite month. If the weather is dry and the leaves haven’t all dropped then the colours are wonderful. I usually come back from a walk with coloured leaves and conkers in and out of shells. Nature creates far more beauty than man ever could.

We start the month off at DROITWICH at the SACRED HEART HALL where Sylvia and Arthur have invited us to help them raise funds for St. Richard’s Hospice….. www.strichards.org.uk We had been on the website for the church and it looks very impressive inside. Sadly no one has the key but I’m sure we will come back and see it sometime.
We are new to most of the audience but they are immediately warm and wonderful and we have some great fun with them…particularly Eunice and Ron who are husband and wife and really good sports. Good to see Eunice organising the men with furniture arranging at the start of the night. Fish and chip supper was the best I can remember. I “stole “ quite a few of Al’s chips. We were booked back at the end of the night so hopefully they enjoyed as much as we did.

Saturday 2nd and we are back again at DODFORD VILLAGE HALL. There are so many people we know in the audience and they are all from different venues. There are some long time supporters and friends from way back…..Harry and Margaret and Derek and Hazel. They must know our act better than we do. Also old friends from Wednesbury , Mr. and Mrs. Danckert who supplied flowers for every wedding and funeral we have ever been involved with.
On the front table were Eric and Margaret and Dean and Sandra who had seen the debacle at the Brasserie when the intoxicated amorous fan had trapped Allan in the kitchen. We all laughed at the memory…Allan had a panic attack.
Wonderful to see the faces from Bromsgrove Folk Club…Steve, Mac Yvonne and the gang. Thanks so much to all of you. Big thank you to Sheryl and Ian, Alan and Phil who all looked after us so well and gave us the best faggots in the world. We even took some home for Sunday. Special love to Sheryl’s Mum who is such a brave and lovely lady. Thanks to you all for such a great night.

Friday 8th. This is a very exciting gig for use at SOUTHPORT. This is A Rotary Conference at the beautiful FLORAL HALL and we have sound techs., radio mikes and a massive stage etc. Most of the Rotary members are from around here up to Stoke way and there are quite a few that we know from working for their area. My old college chum, Alan Davies has put our name forward for the gig and it is quite a big show. We are on with our old friend Doug Parker. We rarely work with Doug as we tend to pick the same comedy subjects which makes it a bit hard to choose material when we are on the same bill. We obviously both laugh at the same things. The good news is we are on first tonight so Doug has drawn the short straw and has to listen in case we do anything similar. It all works out fine and we spend the second half of the show all talking in the dressing room instead of starting the drive home then we had a walk along the from to take in the sea air before we all set off back to the Midlands. Great night….lovely memories.

Another gig back at GNOSALL VILLAGE HALL to raise some money for the upkeep of the hall. This is one of the things that can so easily get overlooked. Not everyone realises the importance of maintaining a facility for use all the different village groups. They are a lovely crowd and are all well used to us by now. Tonight we have pushed the boat out and are having fish and chips and bread and butter in the break. Everyone enjoyed the raffle and gave prizes away. Allan came home with one so he was happy. Many thanks to Lyn and the gang for their hard work and for their invitation.

October 14th and we are setting off for a village out near Kenilworth called STONELEIGH. It looks a beautiful village and it is there first taste of a Black Country Night. They don’t know what to expect. They all make us very welcome and we share a lovely meal the ladies have prepared. They are very kind and hospitable people. Steve and Pat and Sally and Brian sat near us at the table. Thank you to all of you for your company. Nice to meet the man and his wife from Southport. The people were genuinely interested in the Black Country and several came up for a chat in the break and at the end.
We had a very enjoyable night and the proceeds of the evening will be going to a Breast Cancer Charity.

Friday 15th and we are out neat Redditch at MAPPLEBOROUGH GREEN working for S.P.E.A.R. This is the Sue Pike Equine and Animal Rescue Centre. www.spearcharity.org.uk
It is £12 a year to adopt one of the animals and apparently all of the animals love digestive or ginger biscuits or polo mints….a bit like Allan’s diet, really. There were lots of people who work in various ways for the Centre and the work they do is hard, often dirty, emotionally disturbing but very worthwhile. They must be very kind people. Some of the animal stories are so very sad but the love and care they receive often ensures a happy ending. Karen has asked us over there to entertain and hopefully raise some funds which are much needed. The weather and the financial climate can greatly affect the need for their rescue work. Good to meet up with people from Folk Club days and one or two that we knew from different venues. It always helps to see a friendly face at the beginning of a gig. All our good wishes to Sue and Karen and all the kind people involved.

Tonight we are in an unusual venue. We are on an island in the middle of the river at BRIDGNORTH at the BYLET BOWLS CLUB.
Tom has invited us and Allan has a tricky time getting up the clubhouse. He has to do a mega reverse and reversing is not his strongpoint. It is a long drive and alongside is the bowling green which is obviously the Holy of Holies so I am very nervous in case Allan lands on it. It is a lovely new clubhouse that has risen from the ashes after a big fire. The people were absolutely wonderful and all clearly pull together to make the club a happy, thriving venture.
Tom and his wife, Andrea, were very welcoming. Great to see Bob and his wife from the folk club where we first took to the stage….The Barrels at Heath Hayes. Also some people from the Red Lion O’Morph which we loved. There was a man and his wife who had booked us at Bobbington and also somebody form my old street near F.H.Lloyds. Thanks to all of you for a fabulous night.

October 20th and it is a lovely day for a drive out to SHREWSBURY where we will be appearing at the new Theatre Severn on the Welsh Bridge. We have played at the old Shrewsbury Music Hall but this is a new supa dupa building overlooking the river. Some of the aspects of the outer design I liked some I was not so keen on but inside it was beautiful, very modern but very comfortable. The Green Room was amazing. We got there early to avoid traffic chaos and checked our stuff into the dressing rooms and went of to eat. We were working o the last night of the current A Black Country Night Out Tour and we were standing in for Lizzie Wiggins. Good to see the old crowd. Thanks again to Graham and Pam for supporting the show over the years. They are old friends of most of the cast. Not a full house but a very friendly one. Thanks to Kathy and Bob for sound, lighting and backstage help.

Tonight we are appearing at MAEVYSAN RIDWARE for the W.I. This is our first time working in the village here at Hill Ridware. It is a nice hall and the ladies have invited several neighbouring W.I Groups to share the evening. ……but no men. They do have one man, however who is helping with the car parking and keeping an eye on things outside. Big thanks to him as it is quite a cold night. Penny has invited us and Allan looks a bit nervous but they are very gentle with him. After our spot which was very well received there was a wonderful W.I food display in the back room. Allan sat with his plates of food ad chatted to the ladies and I packed the gear away. It didn’t go unnoticed by the assembled ladies! Great to meet you all. Big thanks to Penny, Karen, Ann and all the other ladies who were so kind to us and made us feel so welcome. Special thanks for the doggy bag of chocolate cake to keep him quiet most of the next day.

22nd October and we are standing in for Lizzie at SHENSTONE Village Hall on a Black Country Night. I gather it is a fund raiser for the Conservative Party. We are on the bill with Aynuk and Giggetty so there is a nice merry little band of us backstage. John Brown has organised the event and there are quite a few people in that we know. Great to see the Quinney Hall crowd in from Canwell. All or love and best wishes go out to Bill and Sheila who are due to be married the next day. They spent their last night of freedom listening to us wittering on. Marriage should be easy peasy after that experience. Thanks to all for giving us such a good welcome. We all had a fab. Night.

This is a visit to WHITTINGTON but not to the Church Hall…this one is to the Village Hall. This is for Lichfield and Hatherton Canals Restoration Trust www.lhcrt.org.uk . Rob who we worked for at Ellesmere Port has invited us along to join in and entertain all the members and friends. They have also enlisted the help and support of David Suchet as a patron who has been a keen user of inland waterways for many years and strongly supports the determined efforts to fully restore the Lichfield and Hatherton Canals. We are well fed with Cottage Pie and Apple Pie…Al had both. Greedy Pig! It was lovely to sit and talk to the people. We met and sat with Harry Arnold MBE who is well known for his Photography, writing and publicity for the Inland Waterways and Marine Industries. Again several people we knew from other events and from theatre work. Big thanks to Rob and his wife and to everyone who made us feel so much part of the group.

Today is Sunday and this is another gig we are standing in for. Lizzie is in the midst of a very stressful and worrying time with close family illness.
We are working at her request and recommendation for Georgina Gwynne at TAMWOTH ASSEMBLY ROOMS on a Variety Show. It is great to see Ron and Jem again…..they are or favourite sound and lighting men. They do a brilliant job and are so helpful. This is a big change for us as we work mostly on our own. The cast of the show are much younger than us and the dancers look very fit. They are all very professional and work very hard. It feels like a proper show with dancers, singers and a magician. Everyone is kind to us and make us feel so welcome. Proceeds from the raffle were donated to The Sharon Fox Cancer Centre at Tamworth. Thanks and good wishes to all.

28th and we are en route to ASTON WOOD GOLF CLUB. We appear there quite a lot so it is good to catch up with Simon and the staff who are all most helpful. This is another Black Country Line up with Tommy Mundon, Aynuk and Lee Wilson. It is a good crowd in for posh faggots and peas. Great to see old friends Graham and Cara. Sorry to hear about your fall, Cara. Hope it is much better. Good to chat with Brian Yeates who dropped in to check all was running smoothly and also to have a natter to top man, Roger and his wife at the end.

29th October and we have quite a journey tonight. The motorway is very busy so although we have set off early we are still a bit concerned that we might be late. We are working in LOWER QUINTON in the Cotswolds a the request of Rosie. Luckily we arrive with ample time and soon get set up. It is a lively village hall an it is great to see Max and Dave from Mickleton and our friends from Catshill and also the lovely Val and Pauline from Clifford Chambers.
It was a great night with lovely people. We had some fun with the raffle and the many pairs of flipflops which had been donated as prizes. Many thanks for Allan’s chips.

Saturday night and we are out at the back of Lichfield at a village called HARLASTON. We have been here before and David has kindly asked us to return and put on another show. It is not a very big room but we have a full house and they are a lovely audience. Allan wolfs down sausage and mash in the break while I hid away with my diet and hunger pangs ……plotting his downfall. Thanks to all for your hospitality and warmth.

Sunday 31st. Today is Halloween but this is a 65th birthday party for David and he has had to be persuaded that he wanted it. There is a wonderful hot and cold buffet which they kindly share with us. We were surprised how many young people there were and although it probably wasn’t there thing they were very well mannered. We are out at a beautiful village hall at BENTLEY near Redditch. David seems a very interesting man and he has obviously led a full and colourful life. It is clear from the comments of his friends that he is a much loved and a very special person. Second half I think everyone was a bit more relaxed and we had a good time. Many thanks and good wishes to all concerned.

HOME NEWS

October has been a very busy month for us. We have had some wonderful gigs and met some great people. We’ve been to Churches, Village Halls, Theatres and Sports clubs.

We’ve found lots of time for friends to meet up for coffee and meals out. I suddenly realised I used to spend all my teenage years sitting in coffee bars, namely Packies, (no Ethnic connotations… simply the guy’s name) in Wednesbury, and now I’m in the Autumn of my years I am doing exactly the same. Idling my time in giggle and gossip in coffee bars. The only difference being I don’t put sugar in my coke to fizz it up anymore and I don’t spend all my pocket money on the juke box and ogle boys. Those were the days! More interested in the food!

Health problems continue for me with peripheral neuropathy. It feels as if someone is touching my legs all the time. Al says I should be so lucky. Unseen hands are playing havoc with my nerve endings so I still can’t use the computer much. Doc. has given me some anti depressants which work on the brain to mask pain but the side effects were tooth decay weight gain and suicidal thoughts. I should think the first two would cause the third. He’s sending me to see a Neurologist which is a bit scary.
On the plus side my vocal problems are much improved. I’ve been working very hard on my blowing. This involves singing through a straw into a domed cup of water. Strange stuff but it seems to build the strength in the voice. We have been doing some recording with our great mate Mike so hopefully we can manage to get a C.D. together to sell I the New Year.
Al is singing more these days and getting more confident. We’ve both had the flu jab to try to get us through the busy December gigs without the usual flu misery.
Blitzing the garage at the moment to try to make space upstairs. My clothes addiction is out of control. O.C.D. takes over when I see a Charity Shop. I can’t walk past one. To reach the back of my wardrobe is a bit like a potholing expedition. I ever know what I will find.

Great news that COSMOTHEKA have returned to the scene. We supported brothers Al and Dave Sealey for many years in schools and folk club when we first started. Sadly, Al died a few years back and although Dave has been doing extremely well in Panto, Back to Back etc. and in his own show as it is great to see him teamed up with his son to create the days of Cosmotheka and their brilliant Music Hall shows. Congratulations and all the best for future work. Check them out at www.cosmotheka.co.uk

Al and I continue to be amazed and bewildered by life around us.
Keith Macdonald the feckless Geordie who has fathered at least 13 children with 12 women (3 more babies on the way) has just enrolled on a dating website looking for a relationship. He seems hellbent on repopulating the country with his offspring. If he was a cat somebody would have neutered him by now.

Speaking of McDonalds…they have just been given a licence to perform marriage ceremonies on their premises. I can just imagine it. Fat Chav in a new hoodie and a Slapper wearing hoops that a small dog could jump through with a Croyden face lift…….”.With this onion ring I thee wed, innit!”

Well blessed with our Allies. The French have taken over our S.A.S.
They have left the English to work out plans for Attack while they work out the plans for Retreat. What do the French say to the commander of an invading army arriving in Paris…Table for 100.000, sir?
They say….. What is the most contradictory phrase in the English language?…British Cuisine. Jamie Oliver has been over there touring with his Cookery Roadshow and the French have dubbed him Le Coq au Van. Watched him prepare a sea bass with lemon and parsley sauce. I was so inspired I went into the kitchen and prepared a fish finger butty with tomato sauce. We were in a Restaurant the other day and next to us was a table of elderly ladies. The waiter went over to them and asked “Is anything okay”?

The obsession with look-alikes, clones and tributes continues. People rarely look anything like the artist they are supposed to look like. This year in Cannock the lights are going to be switched on by J.L.S. not the original boy band but somebody called Just Looks Similar.

I am happy to escape into the Sunday evening pure nostalgia that is Downton Abbey. Just love the clothes. I’m going to have massive withdrawal symptoms now that Spooks has finished. Is Lucas/Richard Armitage really dead.? Fans all over the country are praying he will still be alive.

Some saftness……..
English as she should not be spoken:

A Budapest Zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food…Give it to the Guard on duty.

On a tap in a Finnish washroom…To stop drip turn cock to the right.

Office of an Italian Doctor…Specialist in Women and other diseases.

Advert in Hong Kong…Teeth extracted by latest Methodist.

Two from the Black Country…Staff wanted to wash dishes and two waitresses…I had to hold Allan back when he saw that one.
And a Pub/Restaurant in Wednesbury…Special Today…We ay got no ice cream!

Aynuk rings the Doctor and says: “ My wife is giving birth to a babby and the contractions am onny 2 minutes apart….!”
Doctor ”Is this her first child?”
“No, ya silly bugga…Oime her husband, ay I!”

Just off to find my thicker knickers and my vests it’s getting chilly now!

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Accelerating towards Christmas at a great pace and tonight we are out at a little village called RODDINGTON. This is a gig that had to re scheduled because of the snow last year. Glad we didn’t attempt any of those lanes in snow. It was quite hard to find. Signposts seem to have been sabotaged…..one covered with mud and one that had dropped from the post into the grass and bushes. We stopped to ask directions in 3 pubs and a service station. In fact this journey has prompted Allan to finally buy a Satnav. This will replace his usual course of action which involves shouting at me and me throwing the map at him. The Hall was beautiful and new and we had our own lighting technician. The night went really well. Good to see some folks who had only seen us a couple of weeks prior at Lilleshall. Many thanks to everyone and we loved the little après performance get together in the kitchen for a nightcap. At some gigs we have about 10 minutes to vacate the hall so this was a refreshing change.

Friday evening and Birmingham are not a good mix. We had a truly horrendous journey through the centre of Birmingham on our way to KINGS HEATH CRICKET CLUB. It took us a full hour to get through and out the other side. We had been looking forward to the gig as we have a lot of old friends from Boggery days coming along to support us. Rosemary who had booked us is a long time friend from the Boggery and the Bell and Pump and the Hare and Hounds. Fabulous night and a big, big thank you to all of you who came along and made it such a special night for us.

This is a double edged sword tonight. We are very pleased to be back here at KNOWLE VILLAGE HALL but very sad that this will probably be our last gig for this fund raising team. These events have been organised for many years to provide funds for Heartlands Hospital Leukaemia Ward. Our friends Carole and Mike Powell, their son and daughter and an amazing team of friends have worked incredibly hard over many years to combine entertainment, emotional support and financial support with tremendous success. This has been a big commitment which has taken a big chunk out of their lives. Carol, reluctantly, feels that the time is right for her to retire from this and take a well earned break. We have been privileged to work for Carole and this cause for the past 10 years and have thoroughly enjoyed the experience We have made friends with some wonderful people over this period and will be sad to see it end. The best thing to come out of it for us has been our friendship with Carole and Mike who we love dearly. The last night was a brilliant one to finish on. Again friends from the Boggery, Lynne and Tony, Cindy and Paul turned up along with all the usual friendly faces to make it perfect.
A special thanks to all of you for making the last 10 years a great experience for us and through you compassion and hard work making the lives of staff and patients more bearable.

Friday 12th November and we are back at SOUTH STAFFS GOLF CLUB. We are here to entertain the Wolverhampton Magistrates. We spent an enjoyable evening with them a couple of years ago.
Our friends, Norma and Alan are here as guests. Alan has worked on the bench at West Bromwich for many years. Good to see Sue and the staff here again they are a friendly lot. We got nice and settled in the backroom while the audience were having their meal. Mixed reviews for all of us, I think, on the actual gig. Thank you to the people who said they had enjoyed it.

Tonight we are outside Bridgnorth at the MILL at ALVELEY. The Mill is a special place to us because we used to come out here when we were courting….. to be ‘posh’. It is a lovely building and it looks even better now. The Mill Wheel itself is no longer accessible to the general public but Allan managed to sweet talk his way into seeing it. Very relaxing couple of hours before we had to work. No flashing lights….no muzak. Just understated comfort and elegance The audience, who we had not worked for before, were very good and we really enjoyed our time with them. This was one place from our past that really lived up to our youthful memories of it.

We are lucky to be doing some of our favourite gigs this month. Tonight we are back at EARLSWOOD VILLAGE HALL for my friend Jenny. She always provides us with home comforts…well, if I’m honest, better than home comforts. Wine, lager, nibbles, hot drinks. They always look after us like royalty. The crowd, as usual, were wonderful. These gigs are so much fun because we all know each other so well by now. Sorry to hear Philip has had a bad year, health wise. Good to see him there in his usual seat at the front. And we wish him all the best for a speedy recovery. We truly look forward to seeing you all fit and well with your loffing gear in fine fettle for the same time next year. Special big thank you for my beautiful bouquet.

Tonight we are at GREAT HEYWOOD which is another gig we always look forward to doing. These special gigs are the ones where we regret we only see them once a year. These nights are like a blueprint for the perfect gig for us. The audience is made up of all ages, all walks of life, who come together as a proper community to eat, drink, sing and have a laugh together. It was another bostin’ night with a lovely fish and chip supper. See you all next year.

This is a repeat gig at KIDDERMINSTER TOWN HALL with the New Dimension Experience Choir under the guidance of John Quelch. There was also the Crown Phoenix Jazz Band and the Enigma Brass on the bill. It was great to be part of a big show and in such a beautiful building. Nice to see people we know from Dodford and from Astley. We enjoyed all singing together at the end. Great fun!

Friday 26th and we are back at Summerhill School, WALLHEATH with Tommy Mundon and Giggetty. This is a gig we have all done together for many years. Dave, who organises the event, played for many years with Giggetty. He and his wife still teach at the school. Good to see Tommy looking a bit better. He has been a bit rough, health wise lately but he has still delivered the laughs. Hope he wil soon be feeling on top form. Judging by the audience reaction he is till the King of Black Country Comedy. They love him here. Giggo did a good music mix reprising some of their earlier folk set with Dave in the second half. Dave is much loved at the school. Thanks to Dave for organising all the refreshments. Bad weather condiditons for a long journey. We are out at the back of Stourport at GREAT WITLEY VILLAGE HALL. We arrived safely and the audience were very welcoming on such a cold night. Thanks for a good warming supper of faggots and peas and spotted dick or as the P.C. Brigade will probably be calling it Cosmetically challenged Richard. We ate with a very interesting guy and his partner. He had been a photographer for some of the top bands in the late 60s and early 70s. Many interesting stories to tell. Our friends, Pat and the gang turned up to see us. They are brilliant they always come to see us if we are out that way. There was a good mix of ages and the audience were very responsive. Loved it. Many thanks to the people who came up at the end from the Norwell Lapley Agency. They said some very kind things. Your words were much appreciated.

Sunday 28th and we are at SHIRLEY INSTITUTE this afternoon at the request of Ann and Malcolm to entertain them at their Christmas party. What wonderful people they all were. They lined up to help us in with the gear and gave us hot drinks,and a buffet lunch. (Allan scoffed 2). The audience were great and we really enjoyed the afternoon with them. Also good to see Geoff and Irene again. We did their 4oth Anniversary last year. As it is our 4oth next year we’ve asked them to come and entertain us. Many thanks and a very happy Christmas to all of you we met at Shirley.

 

HOME NEWS

We’ve had some great gigs this month with many repeaters. This means a bit more hard work in coming up with new or different material but it is great to see familiar faces.
Al and I have had a good time doing some recording work with our bud, Mike. He has been brilliant and works so hard to encourage us and give us both confidence in our singing. He has recorded about 14 songs with us in the hope of getting together a C.D. for sale sometime in the New Year. We have been out with him and Mick for meals for the past 3 weeks which been great fun.

Also managed a few Lounges with Lou in Lichfield for breakfast. This usually lasts from 10 until 12 . Met up with Anne and Jack for some. Great meal over at a pub in Armitage called the Old Peculiar with our friends Roger and Barb. Really relaxing night.

Beginning of the month we went to Birmingham Town Hall to see one of my favourite artistes the very talented Mary Chapin Carpenter. I didn’t enjoy the choice of set songs too much but I suppose when you have written as many beautiful songs as she has it is hard to pick people’s favourites. I like a good cry but not everyone does.

Had another fabulous night at the Sils. Wonderful array of guests. It is by far my most favourite night out. Great people and great music. Magic.

Legs/Back problems no better so I am to see a Neurologist in January but I shall not speak of it any longer. We all have our probs…. .but as my dear Mother used to say…”that may be the case but I’m not interested in theirs…just mine.!”

It could be worse. I could be Gillian McKeith. If she sticks by her philosophy ….“You are what you eat!” then it makes you wonder what her diet consists of. Might be pregnant…do me a favour. The woman is completely unhinged and probably on par with Liz Jones who writes in the Daily Mail. I find myself reading her column and saying “If I could just give her a good slapping”

So many delusional people.! Does Simply Ginger…. Mick Hucknall…. really expect me to believe he has had sex with 3 women a day? Is there really that many desperate, short sighted women in this country!

Wahgner…the Brazilian X factor nutter from Dudley who is claiming benefit for a frozen shoulder and has been lepping round like a lunatic on National Televison. He’s in for some explaining at Dudley DHSS. He’ll probably be cleaning the elephants out for the next few years as punishment.

Students have been living up to their reputation by revolting again carrying banner like Save our Education, Save our Futre.
Bad Spellers of the World Untie!

So Prince William and Catherine are to be wed. Imagine the initials on the souvenirs ….W.C. It will be strange for Prince William if he goes out on his Stag “do” to one of the lap dancing type clubs. Imagine him at the Spearmint Rhino pushing money down the dancers thongs….pictures of his Grannie!. Weird…and a little bit yucky!

Weather has been the big topic. I got in the car the other night and it was minus 3 Degrees. Somebody had pinched my C.D.collection!
I heard my neighbour say “ Since its been snowing my mother in law has done nothing but look through the window….I might let her in if it gets any worse!”

An athlete has just tested positive for Viagra. He tripped while doing the 100 metre sprint and won Gold in the Pole Vault. I’m not allowed to tell that one on stage because it’s inappropriate.
Man’s joke: Why do women have orgasm…they just like to hear themselves moaning!!!

The diet still not going anywhere. I can’t get in the right mindset. I said to Al the other day…Perhaps I’m just big boned…He said: Bones don’t jiggle! Beast!!

If I don’t get time to update before Christmas then we would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have come along to see us or who have got in touch or who read the website.
We wish all of you a Great Christmas. Be kind to each other and take time to appreciate the things that make you happy. Seek out the people that make you feel good and let them know they are important to you.

All the best from Glyn and Allan

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